Hindi Jokes

---

Gyaan ki 3 Baate  

Gyaan ki 3 Baate

humesa yaad rakhna

Gyaan No. 1:

Agar koi hume accha

lagta hai to accha wo

nahi hum hai.

Aur agar koi hume bura

lagta hai to bura wahi

hai Qki hum to acche hai

na.

Gyaan no 2:

Zindagi se koi cheez

maango to aise maango

jaise tumhare baap ki

thi.

Aur nahi mili to kaunsi

tumhare baap ki thi.

Gyaan no 3:

Agar koi apko dekh kar

darwaza band kar deta

hai to yaad rakho.

Kundi dono taraf se hoti

hai aap bhi bahar se

band karke bhaag jao.

---

Aisi aazadi aur kahaan?

Teacher:Whats ur name?

Boy:Tata Indicom

Techer:What can you read?

Boy:Hutch ka chota recharge sirf 10 rs me

Teacher:apki life ka kya hoga?

Boy:Spice hai to life hai

Teacher:Tum apni life mai karna kya chahte ho?

Boy:Kar lo dunia muthi me

teacher:Class se bahar chlay jao

Boy:Aisi aazadi aur kahaan?

---

Aaj mere Kutte ne anda diya.

Rajnikant – Aaj mere Kutte ne anda diya.

.

.

Big B – Kutta kab se anda dene laga?

.

.

Rajnikant – Ye Rajni ka style hai.

Maine apni murgi ka naam kutta rakha hai…

---

Pagal itna chahta hai mujhe… 

3 boys proposed a girl

.

1st:” Mai tmhare lye apni jaan de skta hu..

.

.

Girl:” Wo to sab kehte hain..

.

.

2nd:” Mai tmhare liye chand tare tor kar la sakta hu..

.

.

Girl:” Purana dailouge hai..

.

.

.

3rd:” Main tumhari ACTIVA me Roz 1.ltr Petrol dalwaunga

.

.

.

Girl:” Ankho me ansu k sath Pagal itna chahta hai mujhe…

---

Thori Si to Yaro Sharam Karlo

Thandi Hai Coffee Garam Karlo
Is Pathar DilKo Thora Sa Naram Karlo
Morning Time se Inbox Khali Hai Mera
Thori Si to Yaro Sharam Karlo

---

Jannu Koi Aisi Bat Kaho,

Heart Attack Wali Beizzati :P
Girl To Boy: Jannu Koi Aisi Bat Kaho,
Jismei Dukh B Ho Or Khushi B.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: You R So Beautiful Aunty Ji

---

Malaria wale macchar ande dete hai!

Life Me kitne bhi
Dukh mile
Gam mile
.
.
apne aansu bah jane dena unhe
rokna mat
Kyuki
ruke hue pani me hi Malaria wale macchar ande dete hai!

---

Kahin galti se SEND na ho jaye KANJUS.

Agar koi achha sa msg ho to use jaldi se
.
.
.
.
.
Paper par likh kar almari me band kar do
Kahin galti se SEND na ho jaye KANJUS.

---

baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge
husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga
wife=baba se kya kahoge
husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

---

“India Mein Sabse Zayda Baraf Kahan Padti Hai?”

Foreigner,
“India Mein Sabse Zayda Baraf Kahan Padti Hai?”
.
.
.
smarts answer by our santa
.
.
.
Santa:
“Before 8 p.m. Kashmir, After 8 p.m.- Whiskey Key Glass Mein !

---

Pata Nhi Sala Ye Dusra Kaun Hai…..

Sardar Ji Aapko Kabhi Kisi Se Pyar Hua Hai ?

Ha Yaar,

Par Wo Manti Hi Nhi…

Kya Kehti Hai… ?

Kehti Hai,

‘I LOVE U 2

Pata Nhi Sala Ye Dusra Kaun Hai…..

---

100 Rs. Gayab The.

Pappu :- Janu ab tum change

ho gayi ho.

GF :- Wo kyun ?

Pappu :- Ab main tumhe KISS

karta hu to tum Eyes Close

Nahi Karti.

GF :- Haramkhor, Pichli Bar

Close ki thi to Mere Purse se

100 Rs. Gayab The.

---

plastic surgery

Ladka :”Doctor sahab plastic surgery
me
kitna kharcha aayega ???
.
.
.
.
Doctor :”50 hajar
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladka :”Agar plastic hum de toh kitna
lagega ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Doctor(gusse se) :”Saale, pighla kar
chipka
bhi lena
Muft mai hojaega :P

---

MAAL Taza Kr Raha hu..!!

Sabjiwale ki Shadi hui.
SUHAG RAAT ko Biwi ke upar Pani Chidkne laga..!!
.
.
Wife: Kya kr rahe ho..??
.
.
Sabjiwala:
.
.
.
MAAL Taza Kr Raha hu..!!

---

12 baje light gayi to 2 baje aayi thi,

American ki soch,
.
Hum chand pe pahunch gaye, Ab next kya
karna hai??
.
.
Chinese ki soch,
.
Hum 90% duniya ki Market pe raaj kar rahe
hai, Ab baki par kese kare??
.
.
.
.
India ki soch,
.
12 baje light gayi to 2 baje aayi thi,
Ab 4 baje gayi to 6 bje aayi,
To iska mtlb hai k ab 8 baje jayegi,
.
.
.
Oye fatafat motor chala k paani bhar lo aur
mobile charge kr lo

---

Bhikari – 1 Rupaye de Do

Bhikari – 1 Rupaye de Do
Girl – Sharam nahi aati itneSmart,
Khubsurat Handsome, Nojawaan
hoke Bheek Mangte ho
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bhikari shocked & khush & face
pe badi si smile lake bolta hai -.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Achha Darling Phir 1 Chumma hi
de do.

---

Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.

Kanu: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
.
Manu: Phir tune kya kiya?
.
Kanu: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao
.
.
Manu: Phir?
.
.
.
.
Kanu: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara
Peeta..

---

whatsapp ki ladkiyan pagal banati hai

South ki ladki idlli dosa banati hai…
.
punjab ki ladki lassi banati hai….
.
Up ki ladki kheer banati hai
.
Aur
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BBM, whatsaap
aur facebook ki ladkiya, pagal
banati hai…  :P

---

Height of Insult

Height of Insult :-D
girls ka group waterfall dekhne k liya gya
Pappu (Guide ) : ye duniya ka sab se bada waterfall h, is waterfall ki intensity bahut jyada hai, agar yaha se 20 supersonic planes b gujrege to b hum is waterfall ki awaaz araam se sun sakte h. . .
sabhi girls se request h ke aap plzzz chup rhe, taki hum waterfall ki awaaz sun sake :-P :P  :-D

---